... I've been feeling... depressed... moody... my health hasn't been doing too good... because I get worked up, I get worried... and stressed... Some nights I don't sleep well because I remember things... stuff I've seen, things that I'm scared of seeing happen again... things I can't really get out of my head... I've just had to try and push them to the back of my mind to keep going but... it's always there. The images, the sights, sounds... it weighs on my mind a lot at times...
I wake up each day and fear something has happened or that something will happen and... it scares me because I know how fast everything can be taken away from me.
*As he talks, he's visibly getting more and more upset as he hears himself speak. His hands are gripping the cup tightly and they're shaking slightly*
I've lost faith in myself... I've screwed up a lot of things lately, especially when it counted and was important... I feel I've taken about 20 steps back with everything. Somedays, I feel like crying and I don't know why. Ryuuji died because I was stupid enough to lose an important duel and the card that created that whole mess in the first place!! And it's not even the first time I've been responsible for his death either...
And you know... I was hoping once I graduated, I'd have a shot at a more normal life.... but I can't even have that!! Because I might just end up going crazy and killing people just to make some stupid card!! How can I have a normal life with that hanging over my head!? How can I keep telling Asuka I'll protect her when I might end up hurting her!? Or my friends, I might end up hurting them!! I feel like I should just be locked away for everyone's safety!
*At this point, his hands are shaking so much with emotion, the cup just slips from his hands and falls to the floor, luckily it doesn't break, but the coffee spills out onto the carpet. Juudai doesn't seem to react much to it as he looks at his hands. His face then screws up as he tries to hold back the want to just cry out in frustration at himself. So he simply cups his hands over his face. As he sits there, shaking and making very poor attempts to hold back everything, Kouyou may hear a muffled sound coming from him that sounds pretty much like "...I'm scared". And this is the extent of how much of a wreck he really is. Good luck, Kouyou :|*
Re: Event Post!
Some nights I don't sleep well because I remember things... stuff I've seen, things that I'm scared of seeing happen again... things I can't really get out of my head... I've just had to try and push them to the back of my mind to keep going but... it's always there. The images, the sights, sounds... it weighs on my mind a lot at times...
I wake up each day and fear something has happened or that something will happen and... it scares me because I know how fast everything can be taken away from me.
*As he talks, he's visibly getting more and more upset as he hears himself speak. His hands are gripping the cup tightly and they're shaking slightly*
I've lost faith in myself... I've screwed up a lot of things lately, especially when it counted and was important... I feel I've taken about 20 steps back with everything.
Somedays, I feel like crying and I don't know why.
Ryuuji died because I was stupid enough to lose an important duel and the card that created that whole mess in the first place!!
And it's not even the first time I've been responsible for his death either...
And you know... I was hoping once I graduated, I'd have a shot at a more normal life.... but I can't even have that!! Because I might just end up going crazy and killing people just to make some stupid card!! How can I have a normal life with that hanging over my head!? How can I keep telling Asuka I'll protect her when I might end up hurting her!? Or my friends, I might end up hurting them!!
I feel like I should just be locked away for everyone's safety!
*At this point, his hands are shaking so much with emotion, the cup just slips from his hands and falls to the floor, luckily it doesn't break, but the coffee spills out onto the carpet. Juudai doesn't seem to react much to it as he looks at his hands. His face then screws up as he tries to hold back the want to just cry out in frustration at himself. So he simply cups his hands over his face.
As he sits there, shaking and making very poor attempts to hold back everything, Kouyou may hear a muffled sound coming from him that sounds pretty much like "...I'm scared".
And this is the extent of how much of a wreck he really is. Good luck, Kouyou :|*