i_like_red | (no subject)

Hey Asuka, if you aren't busy tomorrow, do you want to do something together? We could go for a walk or just simply hang out or... if you have anything in mind that you want to do, we could do that!

((Following is Private))

There's one thing I can say about Saiou's tarot readings, it really makes you realize just how you've been acting lately... even if you know it yourself, it still hits some cords when you see someone else mention what you, have been feeling or doing.

He's right, lately my thoughts have been clouded by negativity ... I kinda miss those days where I could look at each day with a positive attitude, but now all I can do is look at each day and wonder if anything will go wrong in it...
... and it's, I dunno, I've just been feeling really low in myself and this has been something that I've been feeling for a long while now... it's not like I don't have moments where I'm happy, I do! But... sometimes I feel really... I dunno... depressed and sometimes I don't even know why... and at times like that, all I feel like doing is sleeping, or just not doing much.
It's just like a slump I'm in and out of in a constant circle, that I can't get out of.

And I guess... lately I have been kinda... over-sentimental about things, I do overlook others faults. I've not really been acting on things lately and any action I have done was small. Small things go wrong and where it wouldn't of bothered me when I was younger, these days it makes me feel terrible.
I've really changed a lot, I know... but it makes me wonder where the changing will stop and what kind of person I'll be when it does...

Then it seems I've been possibly distancing myself from people without even meaning too, because I'm so wrapped up in these thoughts and stuff. I didn't really realize I was possibly not really spending enough time with Asuka, I mean... she means the world to me, and hell, if I could, I'd spend every moment with her, but...I guess sometimes we don't get to spend as much time together as we probably should...
...but the fact that I didn't even realize it... I just don't want to make her feel like I'm neglecting her. I love her, she's important to me, so damn important...when I'm with her I just feel... a lot happier, it's like she can switch on a light and everything seems not as bad.

... I'm just wondering what the hell is happening to me and why I keep feeling like this. I keep feeling kinda lost with...just about everything...