(no subject)

[i_like_red]

...great.



((Following is Private))

There really is no hope for a normal life for me, is there?
I'm graduating soon, I'm planning to go into the Pro League and I'm lucky enough to already have a manager who I look up to and can trust, I'm thinking of going to the Duel College in Domino, I have a beautiful girlfriend who I want to spend the rest of life with.
I have all these plans and more, but then I wonder if it's even worth it in the end... if I end up going crazy at anytime without realizing it... end up hurting or killing those close to me...
...I don't want to ever put them through that... I don't... I can't... each and every one of them, they're so important to me.
But the only way to do that is to push them away. They don't want that... and neither do I. So either way I'd be hurting them.
Figures.


I feel like yelling and punching something, because I don't know what to do.

I hate feeling like this power is forever going to be a barrier in my life.

I hate the fact that I'm scared of myself.

Some days I wonder if I should be in some mental hospital like Yukio is, as I sure do feel like I'm going crazy sometimes.
Though if I wasn't crazy by then, Yukio's usage of big words and speech patterns I don't understand would certainly make sure I turned that way... heh.

...I need to get that card back somehow...

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

...Juudai-san? What happened?

[mon-millennia.livejournal.com]

...Blasted Journal. Anyway. What's wrong?

[i-like-red.livejournal.com]

I just screwed something up, that's all.

[mon-millennia.livejournal.com]

What, exactly?

[i-like-red.livejournal.com]

Nothing you should know about, sorry.

[xgodsaysnox.livejournal.com]

I won't ask if all is well, because it isn't.

But you're still alive.

[i-like-red.livejournal.com]

Yeah.

[xgodsaysnox.livejournal.com]

It's nothing I particularly want to know, so...

Eat some shrimp.

[keepersouha.livejournal.com]

... You know, I feel like I should know what's up, at the moment.

After all, it can't be just coincidence that you post about dueling that lizard before... And now you're depressed.

Private to Souha

[i-like-red.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I lost the duel, so I lost the card.
I was an idiot to be so reckless with it.

Re: Private to Souha

[keepersouha.livejournal.com]

... Keh. Well, can't go back and change that, as it is.

That Giga Gagagigo has it, then?

Re: Private to Souha

[i-like-red.livejournal.com]

No, Chaos Sorcerer took it. Giga Gagagigo was taken care of.

Re: Private to Souha

[keepersouha.livejournal.com]

... A Chaos Sorcerer took it? Lovely.

At least the island isn't in danger of sinking, but... I wonder if that's a good or a bad thing, now. Mn...

You have any idea where the Chaos Sorcerer might be?

[sevencolorgems.livejournal.com]

...That's... bad, isn't it...

Private to Johan

[i-like-red.livejournal.com]

Yeah.
I lost Super Fusion, so who knows what they're going to use it for. I aim to work to get it back, but it's where to start.

Re: Private to Johan

[sevencolorgems.livejournal.com]

..........

Ah...

Do you know who has it currently? Gagagigo's not still working on killing everyone, is he?

Re: Private to Johan

[i-like-red.livejournal.com]

He isn't, he was taken care of by someone else. A Chaos Sorcerer took Super Fusion from him and disappeared.

[sees-the-sea.livejournal.com]

...Juudai?

[i-like-red.livejournal.com]

Hey.

[sees-the-sea.livejournal.com]

....something's wrong. What is it?

[i-like-red.livejournal.com]

I just made a stupid mistake, that's all.

[blakrosemandala.livejournal.com]

Something wrong, Juudai-kun?

[i-like-red.livejournal.com]

Just... made a stupid mistake, that's all.

[blakrosemandala.livejournal.com]

Perhaps I can help you. That is my job, after all.

[i-like-red.livejournal.com]

I think a lot that's bothering me is pretty much beyond help.