Precious Time~ Glory Days~

This time of the year is always kind of nostalgic, seeing some of the new students posting who are starting at the academy for the first time, especially when I see students posting that they're in Osiris Red. Reminds me of when I first started there.

Which was 11 years ago.

Haha, wow.

...well looks like I'm spending the weekend cleaning tire tracks off the floors of the Academy. It was nice of Chronos-sensei to not make me pay for the damage, at least.

There's been no word.
I'm going to the island to look for them.

...so that's what was going on there...
I swear... the Academy just gets worse every year with what happens there, I kinda miss the days where even the bad things that happened were a lot more simple and hell, in some ways it was a lot more relaxed.
For someone to mindlessly kill up to possibly ten people... just... it makes me so angry, but it makes me feel helpless too, because I can't DO anything. Even if I was there I wouldn't be able to really do anything. I'm a duelist, not a detective or a solver of murder mysteries.
The problems there really were getting way over my head and beyond what I could do, the last year I had there especially tested this, I think I know where my limit lies.

I was right when I said that things there are just going beyond being solved by a simple duel.

I'm really worried about everyone there, especially those I know. I really hope this can be solved without the loss of any more lives.

So, my practical exam today was against Chronos-sensei. It's the first time I've dueled him since my first year and... it just felt right to end my last school year with a duel like that... I totally forgot I was even being tested on it actually.
Weird thing was... it ended just like my first duel with him did, just...
...it was really nostalgic.
Then he kinda broke down crying in front of everyone, heheh ^^;

But thank you, Chronos-sensei! For being my final opponent as a student at the Academy and for being a great teacher.

A lot of people turned up for the memorial for Ryuuji yesterday in the lobby, it was... sad but... it was nice to share memories too so...
...talked to Chronos-sensei about maybe putting a memorial somewhere in the academy for him too, he said he'd see what he could do about it.

I think they're giving the written tests out tomorrow... guess that's when I'll be heading home. Tried calling home another three times today, still no reply so... guess my parents aren't there at all, looks like I'll probably be home alone then...

I think I'll just go take a shower and nap for a while or something.

...great.

( Private )

Huuuuuh, it really HAS been quiet lately, even the journals have been kinda quiet. It's nice to be able to just relax and not have anything to worry about except normal stuff, like schoolwork. Although... it's bad that I keep thinking someone, somewhere, is using this time to plot to destroy the world or something... Have I really become THAT paranoid?

Y'know... with the Doctor who might be leaving and Haseo who posted a few days ago about leaving, kinda made me start really thinking about what exactly I'm gonna do when *I* leave, like... I know my goal... just don't know really how to go about getting there right now and it's something I really should be thinking about...
...and... I think, when I leave, part of me really.... doesn't want to go back home. Here I have friends, people who I see as family. Back home I really don't have that. Sure there's my parents but they'd never be home and I feel like I "flew the nest", so to speak, when I came here.
I love them, sure... but I feel I don't need their support anymore.
I don't want to go back there and just have nothing to look forward to but just being alone there... I'd feel trapped like that. I feel I need to keep moving forward, keep spreading my wings, be in a place where I have all kinds of options right in front of me and where I can meet lots of interesting people.
I guess I'm saying that next year, I won't have a home here, nor do I feel my actual home is a home anymore.
Hm...I think this ramble is telling me I should sleep and not keep writing here.

So, hummm, what have all you guys been up to lately? Tell me and lets generate some conversation here!! Even if you don't know me that well, just tell me what you're thinking! What's on your mind! Even if it's small!

Congratulations to all those that made it to that new Honor Dorm! Sounds like you'll all be getting some really awesome chances through it! Although I'm kinda glad they didn't consider me for it, all that extra work sounds like it's gonna be really tough. Haha! I wouldn't move up dorms for it anyway!

( Private (Although Johan may see~) )

((Mood will most likely read as "Happy" for everyone else))

[private]

I picked up my make-up work from Chronos-sensei yesterday, I didn't realize there would be so much from missing a week's worth of classes, but when I brought it back to my dorm....I realized how behind I actually am on my schoolwork, there's a ton in the corner of my room that I've never even touched, I've just never really had the time to do it with everything that's been going on.
I know I'm not the perfect student, but...I WANT to graduate this year! I want to carry on with my journey, I...
...I want people to be proud of me! Not because I'm the hero who saves the day, I want them to be proud of me for me being myself! I want to graduate, I want my friends and all the people important to me to see that accomplishment!! But I'm so far behind, will I even catch up with it at this rate?

There's so much I feel I've been missing recently. After Darkness... I just... I just wanted a break, a chance to have some fun, hang out with my friends, spend time with Asuka, have more happy memories before I graduated, but bad things just kept on happening, even dueling doesn't bring the same joy to me that it used to, a lot of my duels recently have resulted in something bad happening...or to solve something...to save people...to save the world.
Not that I regret that, I've helped so many people, and I'm glad I have the power to do that! I've grown so much in that area and I want to use this power to help those who need it!! But...it...honestly feels like there's a part of me...somewhere...that's missing. I've felt like that for a long while now, something deep down just feels like it's gone and I'm not sure what it is.

I've been through so much lately and had loads of stuff just constantly keep piling up on me. Bad guy, after bad guy, after bad guy, some of which were working at the same time, I lost count with how many times I've been in the infirmary just this year alone...
Just...urgh, I just feel so tired and frustrated with it all right now and the fact that I may not even graduate this year doesn't make this feeling any better...

What the hell am I going to do!? I'm trying to do some of this work now but I just can't concentrate on it at all right now for some reason!!

Damnit...just, damnit!!

[/private]


((OOC: The above post is actually NOT private, it's open to all characters to comment on. Juudai was trying to make it private so not to worry his friends, but he failed somewhere along the way. The bolded parts I'm playing off as a type of broken code, thus your characters will be able to see this was intended to be hidden from them.))